Calm Under Fire

When conducting leadership training sessions, I always begin by asking people what they think are characteristics of good bosses. I often receive responses like caring, willing to listen, ready to receive feedback with openness and the willingness to accept ideas.

Then I ask if any leaders in their organisation shows the above traits. Inevitably, a few sniggers will echo around the room.

It's times like this when we realise the importance of emotional intelligence. In the words of Daniel Goleman, an expert on emotional intelligence, "In navigating our lives, it is our fears and envies, our rages and depressions, our worries and anxieties that steer us day to day."

In stressful situations, most of us just react, such as becoming defensive at a colleague's suggestion. However, we expect more from our leaders. And we have all witnessed how some leaders just "lose it".
Typically in a stressful situation, we ask ourselves "Is this something I hate or it hurts and scares me?" If the answer is yes, the circuitry in our response trips the rational thinking and sends a crisis message to our brain which then leads to a reactive and often inappropriate response. However we can re-wire our circuitry by training ourselves to react differently. It requires emotional intelligence.

The four dimensions
As conceived by Daniel Goleman, emotional intelligence is not just one but a series of measurements: self awareness, self management, social awareness, and relationship management.

High self-awareness means you are attuned to your inner responses when triggered by external stimuli. You can recognise how your feelings affect you and your job performance. Without self assessment, it is almost impossible to develop emotional intelligence.

Self management refers to having control over your emotions and not being carried away by them. This means staying calm in the midst of a crisis. A boss who practices self-management is one, who despite having a bad day at work, does not allow his anger to run amok by yelling at his team. Instead he remains fair and open-minded.

Social awareness is measured in terms of empathy and organisational awareness. They can sense a broad range of verbal and non-verbal cues that allow them to discern other's emotional state and act accordingly.

Relationship management deals primarily with inspiring, influencing, and developing others. Leaders who score high in this dimension are able to positively influence and inspire their colleagues to deliver beyond their own expectations.

Tap into emotional intelligence
But how do we tap into our emotional intelligence? At Hay Group, we use the analogy of an iceberg to talk about success in the work place. Essentially, 10% of your competencies brought you to where you are today; yet it is the other 90% of your competencies that will take you higher.

In order to make that leap, we will have to tap into the dormant 90%. This is what sets the high-performing individual apart from the just-average performer. Here's how we start:

Step 1: Be more self reflective. Ask: What are my strengths and weaknesses today? What is preventing me from being more effective?

Step 2: Stay calm. Ask: What are the implications of my actions? Am I contributing positively to this situation?

Step 3: We put our newfound understanding into practice. Ask: How can I do better than before? What am I learning from this practice?

Find ways to get more feedback and return back to Step 1.

This approach creates a positive feedback loop of continuously improving ourselves and our relationship with others. This way, we will stay on the upward emotional spiral.

When you are in control of your emotions and "in sync" with another person, you are in a position to select behaviours that will provide a positive outcome for you and for other people. Research has shown that for every 1% improvement in the climate of a company, there is a 2% increase in revenue. So start climbing up the emotional spiral to positively reinforce the right behaviours in winning others through your response.

Able Cheong

Consultant,

Hay Group