Ten reasons why Timeline does not suck
While the world ponders the significance of serious global issues such as the eurozone crisis and Greece's austerity measures, I felt we needed to launch a serious discussion about something much more pertinent: Facebook's new Timeline. And guys, it doesn't suck and here's why.
- It looks pretty. If it doesn't, then you need to take better pictures.
- It allows you to cyber stalk other people more effectively, year by year, month by month, in the most organised fashion. Lovely. Let's be honest, if your photos or posts shouldn't be seen, they shouldn't be on Facebook. The phrase internet privacy is an oxymoron. As for your annoying friends who insist on tagging you in that hideous shot of you with spaghetti sauce down your front, well, you need new friends.
- Check your credit card bill. When was the last time you paid for your Facebook subscription? Never? Then don't complain about things that are free.
- Because of my early adopter status I am now considered a social influencer and was nearly asked to speak at a digital event. But then I saw that an agency was giving people "social colonics" and decided to sit quietly in the audience and sip my free drinks.
- As for brands ... well, let me get back to you on that later.
- Reliable research (among 50 Lighthouse staffers) has shown people who come willingly to Timeline are significantly happier, spend less time posting angry updates and are more likely to succeed in life.
- I read a poll somewhere that said the older a user is, the less likely they will like the Timeline changes. (This one I didn't make up.) So go on, impress your kids and love it.
- I can go back and "like" the dates my best friends are born. And their geeky secondary school shots. (And if they don't un-friend me after a few weeks, I know we're set for life.)
- It's arranged all my updates to look like a nice blog-scrapbook thing, so I don't have to make my own.
- It's nice being the only person who loves it, while everyone else whines and whinges about how much it sucks.
See you on Facebook everyone.
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